Fair Warning: This is an extremely negative rant about my life. This is mostly just me talking out my personal frustrations.
For some reason, today I feel just generally uncomfortable. Maybe it was caused by the just generally unfortunate week that I have had, or maybe there is some other cause or reason. There is is weight in my chest and I feel almost shaken. I don’t have any one thing I should be feeling anxious or sad about so I don’t know what is going on. It is seriously throwing me off. Maybe it is the weather?
Then again there are a lot of reasons why I should be anxious, I am a nineteen year old college dropout who lives with her parents and works a job in food service, I don’t have a license, or health insurance, or a car. I only have a few friends (those I do have, I value) and only have a few close family members. I feel generally isolated and alone, and honestly thinking of it now, this feeling of unrest might be because I have some bizarre interpersonal emotional need that is not being fulfilled. Who knows honestly.
But, counting my blessings does help in situations like these. The other side of the coin, the positive perspective is that I am nineteen years old and I have made my own decision to explore the world at my own pace. I decided I needed a break from the overbearing expectation that I HAD to go to school, something that hung on me like a steel ball firmly attached to my ankle. I don’t have a drivers license but for the most part I can drive (just not legally) and make my situation work. I don’t have health insurance but I am also (mostly) healthy and am in the process of getting a plan. My immediate family does love me in their own way and my friends are all wonderful people who are kind and fun and thoughtful. I suppose the conclusion to this bizarre post is that there is good and bad in any situation, and its okay to feel down sometimes and wallow in your own misery, but life is also what you make it?
Extraordinarily Ordinary 